I am about to let you read an entry of my personal journal, Star Date, Aug 15, 2016…hmmm, can you say feeling vulnerable??? I’ll bet you can.

God, I am a writer. More specifically I am becoming a published author. I am conveying the wonderful/awfulness of life, the human condition, and the world through photography. I am sharing other people’s story/journey with a growing attentive ‘audience’ through the medium of our podcast Light In A Spoon. I am creating a platform not only for my aching desire to express but for those sons and daughters of God who groan and wait…and work and wait…

I have opened my heart, my mind, my body and soul to the creative genius who would inhabit this jar of clay and wish to express through me. There has been something/someone lurking within the orbit of ‘me’ from the first moments of being aware there was ‘me’. A yearning has rumbled around, churned, and is now no longer willing to remain silent. The yearning itself is speaking…IT is shooting images of LIFE, IT is reaching out to connect with ‘ordinary people with extraordinary stories’ with the intention of sharing them with our world (the world I choose to create with YOU), IT is building a platform to serve others YEARNING. I am pouring light into a spoon and lifting it to nourish beautiful parched holy mouths…millions of beautiful parched holy mouths.

Last night found me perusing favorite sources of inspiration and mentoring. Rich Roll’s ‘Roll Call’ had a link to Elizabeth Gilbert‘s TED Talk. In it, Elizabeth expressed her vulnerability around life after ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. She revealed the daunting nature of the ‘voice’ that poked its bony finger into her soul with “now what honey…how the hell are you gonna top that?” It was not only an internal voice, the question is often posed by interviewers and even friends. She said silencing the voice with a deep dive into the darkness of drugs and alcohol was not an option so she began to explore the source of “Inspiration”, “Genius”, magic.

Her search led her to the ancient Greeks and Romans who had it that this creative power came into them and breathed through them. They simply transposed what was brought. They used words like daemon and genius to describe something of an intelligent powerful energy that came to them and through them. And…if they were awake and willing, they could lay hold of it for short periods of time as great works of art, literature, architecture, and music flowed through them into the world for the uplifting and even transformation of their fellows.

Elizabeth related a story of having interviewed Tom Waits. He was in the car, driving when a beautiful melody and words began to descend from somewhere. As the words and melody came he said to the source (whatever it was and from wherever it was coming)

“Can’t you see I’m in the car and driving no less? If you want this out there in the world you’re just gonna have to come back ‘cuz there ain’t anything I can do about it right now.”

front of Little Golden Book, sleeping beauty

front of Little Golden Book, sleeping beauty

At that moment a gorgeously happy little 2-year-old boy wandered over to a basket full of children’s’ books sitting next to me and pulled out…WAIT FOR IT…the ‘Little Golden Book’ of Disney’s ‘Sleeping Beauty’…I am not kidding you…I am not f#@k’ing kidding you. He walked over to his dad and then returned with the book and wanted help putting in back in the basket. I obliged with a bit of assistance. But when he walked away I lifted the book and began to page through it…Holy Shit! There it was, Sleeping Beauty being held captive sitting at a spinning wheel with a pile of straw on one side of the wheel and gold flowing out the other side of it.

This speaks so powerfully to me because much of my life had felt like the straw in the bottom of the horses stall, trampled, dirty, dung stained and pretty much worthless. However, something has awakened and there are bits of gold…bits of it for now, but damn it, I’ll sit here and do my job…I’ll spin, I’ll weave and if anything will come of it the genius of inspiration will have to take it from here.